Sunday, October 7, 2012

Pre Surgery Jitters

It doesn't matter how many times you've gone through it. (Although, I do have one friend who has "been under" multiple times who says it doesn't bother her).

It's always the day BEFORE surgery that bothers me. All the "what if's" and every horror story I'd ever heard goes racing through my head (the one that freaks me out most? Waking up on the operating table while the surgery is still going on. Happens more often than you think...).

I'm preparing a whole list of things to tell the anesthesiologist and the surgeon before we get started:

Anesthesiologist "I take a large number of benzos daily. I am very difficult to sedate. I may require more than one med to totally knock me out. Don't be shocked when you give the second dose and I am still not out. I am...Bionic Woman"

Surgeon "The last time I had a lapriscopic jejunostomy placed I remained at a pain level of 10 (which I consider a "10" screaming and crying, unable to get any words out) for a solid week. I want my pain controlled. Again, I take A FREAKING TON of medicine every day. I am drug resistant. I am not drug SEEKING. It just takes larger than normal doses of things to keep things under control".

Walker in tow, I have been getting my apartment cleaned and organized like a mad woman. This level of anxiety propels me forward, almost against my will, into action. I must. Be. Doing. ANYTHING to keep myself busy. And I wear myself out. Over this weekend I have organized my bathroom drawers, taken the Steralite container that held some of my medical supplies, pulled the syringes out of the kitchen, put the Steralite container in my bedroom, organized ALL my medical supplies so they will be in one place (top drawer syringes and non sterile gloves, middle drawer Hibiclens (chlorhexadine) soap, Medipore tape (3 rolls), split gauze, Aquaphor, Vaseline, Calmospetine, 1x1 sterile gauze pads for cleaning the stoma site, bottom drawer for Patchwork Peddler G and J tube pads, Hollister leg drain bags (for G tube drainage) Statlocks, and other items I buy once a month over the Internet).

Then I frantically searched for the tube online that my surgeon will be placing. I finally found it, and it is not a BARD product, it is a MIC product (MIC=long tube, MIC-KEY=button like I already have).

However, I must say that this tube placement couldn't have come soon enough, as the jejunal (J) portion of my G/J has, once again, coiled in my stomach, as evidenced my my drain bag contents. As much as I liked the button, it's been kind of a pain. And really, there is no point to the button if it is accessed 24/7 IMO.

This time tomorrow I will be under. I'll be back to update when I am cognizant enough to know what I'm typing ;)

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