What motivates you?
I ask this, because RIGHT NOW, I am facing a slow and painful death. A LOT of this has to do with the physical conditions I face. AAG? Tachyphylaxis? A non-functional GI system...
...know what? For TWO WEEKS, I REALLY GAVE UP. I DID! I stayed in bed. I still did my PT exercises, but I didn't let my feet touch the floor, the exception being wheelchair transfers. And in this state of mind, I was SHRIEKING in pain, utterly exhausted, and with a short fuse. All the time sad, and angry, withdrawn...my voice echoed in my body, too soft for the average person to hear.
So today...I knew I was feeling horrible. But on the couch, where I was laying...a freaking spider. Not a huge one, but I'd not seen a spider since I moved up to this new apartment.
I kid you not. I did NOT transfer to the chair. And I did not fall.
I stood up. Unassisted.
I STOOD UP UNASSISTED.
I made a few steps forward, then back. Wheelchair bound since January. March 30th, 2013, I stood up for FIVE MINUTES UNASSISTED. After being told I MAY NEVER WALK AGAIN. But I stood up! No walker, no walls.
I STOOD UP AND I INVITE YOU ALL TO REJOICE WITH ME.
How many have been to the doctor's office or hospital, and have reminded you OVER AND OVER: This may never function correctly again. You may always have to take these meds, push this chair, go to these appointments, blah. I believed it also! They're the ones who have been training, that read numbers, and order you what to do.
But there are times, where you MUST choose to do something else. Something radical. Something on accident. Anything at all, before we become so ill that we cannot communicate. Before our voice and out brain leaves us.
Shock, awe, wonder. This is PROOF that someone who is sick (by the numbers) that will tell you what I JUST DID is impossible.
But in the word "impossible" still turnes into I'M POSSIBLE.
Easter tomorrow. Be blessed