Sunday, December 29, 2013

Searching, Seeking, and Simplicity

No one gives much credit to words that start with the letter "S" in the English language. And why should they? The letter "S" is at the end portion of the alphabet, results in a few four letter words (not the nice kind...), and one gives much credit to words at all.

Words, however, are the way that each of us sing our live's song, how we reach the hearts and minds of others we hope to reach, and are absolutely everything in the dealings of living.

Especially in living with a chronic illness.

I hear you groaning out there! I hear you saying "Oh my word, another preachy 'lesson' about how our words and our thoughts impact my condition! There are no studies on how words impact [insert diagnosis here], so don't even go there. How dare you question the way I tell other people about how I am feeling..."

Whoa there! Try to keep the angry thoughts still for a moment and merely listen for a bit. Feel free to be mad, feel free to your emotions, but please do not bow to them. Don't fear them.

Don't ignore them.

Simply, if you wish, read. Ponder if you like. And either continue in individual study or disregard. It's all up to you.

Words are what we live by. We govern by words we've created in the eyes of the laws of the land, or of metaphysics, or analysis of numerical study. We give of our time based on words we have hand crafted by ink or by keystroke by listing what is and is not important, whose names represent the people who mean the most of us, and if applicable even the name of the deity we believe in if we are so inclined.

Words are the capstone by which we build our reality.

"I had a horrible day today!"

"I hate the way I look, feel, act, speak..."

"My doctor is a dolt''.

"My doctor saved my life".

"I will never..."

"I will always..."

And it not so?

Which came first, the chicken or the egg? -- In the first grade, this question was posed to us. The cork board had a giant chicken on it, and there were two columns. We were given yellow construction paper "eggs" and we were to write our answer on on side and then why we thought was the reason on the other.

So when we came in the next day to find eighteen yellow eggs under "The Chicken Came First Because..." and one egg that said "The Egg Came First Because...", there was a general buzz as to who the idiot was that thought the egg came first.

That idiot was me. Funny story? When I was very young, my teachers and parents thought I was developmentally delayed. I spent my preschool years riding "the short bus". So in the first grade, I was sitting over at my chair trying not to cry, trying desperately to try to figure out a way to change my answer, how could I be so stupid as to think the egg came first...?

The teacher read three eggs on the side I did not agree with. Then she came to my egg, and read my name. Eighteen eyes peering at me, hot tears filling my eyes.

Then the teacher read my egg, and I remember writing the answer like I just did it yesterday:

The egg came first because the chicken didn't create itself.

That was, word for word, my answer at the age of seven. In the first grade.

The eyes then turned confused. The silence rang loudly through the room. I think one boy dropped his pencil.

This question is as old as man. And when we were told that no one was right and that no one was wrong, the class became confused. I, however, was no longer confused or embarrassed. After I heard my classmate's answers and realized that I just did not see the question the same as they did and heard my teacher say essentially the same thing in the ultimate answer of  "No one is right or wrong", I felt very satisfied.

And now, I continue to struggle as to my own intelligence. But in this one instance, it has illustrated the differences between me and "everyone else"...

...I merely do not think in the same way as other people. I have had no formal training in writing. I only have the education, according to paper, of a high school graduate. That's it. I've never attended collage. Ever.

But for my whole life, I have been a thinker and a writer.

By the way, my parents and teachers were wrong. I am not developmentally delayed. There was no real need to ride the short bus. And when I was given a standard IQ test upon entrance into a gifted and talented program at school years later, I scored in the branch in the 160 range. I don't give very much credit to numbers, but this just gave a framework for me to accept, which is that most of the population doesn't think of things hte same way that I do, and most of them will never agree with me on theory which I cannot explain well.

So I am going to try to give you my overall view for the statement that words create you reality both here in this moment and in the future:

The chicken did not create itself. The chicken had a beginning as an egg, then it hatched. From there, it became a chick, grew up, and transformed into a chicken.

WE did not create ourselves...but we created words to give meaning to how we could relate to each other. We created words to give names to objects, people, and places. Language is how most of us relate to ideas either internally or whilst talking to others (I do not think in language, I think in terms of color and sound) and is the way we describe our experiences.

Our experiences did not create themselves. We did.

We created our experiences in how we let stimuli affect us. We create the way perceive things with the language we use to relate to others.

We use words to create everything within ourselves and our environment.

We use words to create our reality.

And from there, it is our choice as to whether we take an idea or an insult and either make that a good or a bad thing. I love when people think I am base, or that I am not correct on an subjective idea, as it is an opportunity to try to teach, to toss back and forth ideas. I don't waste insults, I don't waste physical pain, I do not waste defeat as it gives birth to every single one of my victories.

The realm of the mantra: searching, seeking, and simplicity.

Searching only requires us to open our eyes

Seeking only requires us to agree to participate in interacting with what we find

And simplicity? Well...simplicity is what we can make of the result. I choose not to get caught in trying to make thngs more complex than they are. As soon as I declare something "simple", then it is so, for I have just attached the idea of "simple" to something and it is no longer "difficult".

We use our words to create our reality...

...or at least, I do.

But I will say this: most do not think in the same manner as I. So you may not agree with this.

But just like the classic chicken and egg question, so is this answer I have come to about words creating our reality. This conclusion is not right or wrong.

But it's one I believe, and an idea maybe someone out there would like to entertain.

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